3 steps you must take if you expect a contentious divorce

In this blog, we have talked about the many benefits of pursuing alternative dispute resolution options like mediation during divorce. We have noted that it can save people time and money, and it is generally a more peaceful way of ending a marriage.

That said, options like mediation just aren’t realistic for some people. This can be the case if you expect your divorce to be (or become) contentious because there are abusive, hostile or adversarial emotions involved. If you expect to resolve divorce-related matters in a courtroom, there are a few steps you would be wise to take to prepare.

  1. Work with an attorney. This may seem obvious, but having an attorney can help you in many different ways during a divorce. This person can manage communications and exchanges to minimize contact between divorcing parties, and an attorney can help you negotiate or build your case so that you can pursue a fair outcome without the need for direct contact with the other party.
  2. Document everything. Make sure you hold on to email exchanges, texts, Facebook messages, and anything else that you or your ex says in writing. You can save voicemails, too. Keeping these exchanges can help you provide clarity or evidence in situations where your soon-to-be ex goes back on a promise or wrongfully accuses you of misconduct.
  3. Try to keep your emotions in check. Whether you are using social media or in a courtroom, your actions during divorce can have an effect on the resolutions. Avoid any unintended consequences by keeping your emotions in check. Of course, this can be an enormous challenge in contentious divorces, so consider working with a therapist or counselor who can help you find healthy, productive means of getting through this difficult event.

These are just a few suggestions that can be helpful if you expect your divorce to be anything but peaceful; articles like this one from The Huffington Post offer others.

Even though divorce is difficult, especially when it becomes heated, try to remember that you will get through this. There is another side to the process, and with these tips, it can be a little easier to get there.